I'm going to let you in on a little secret.
I don't do it all.
Here's a list of the things I don't do: get enough sleep, workout on a regular basis, go to bed with an empty sink and clean kitchen, pick up the toys from the living room floor each night, clean my bathrooms on a regular basis, connect with my friends enough, go on enough dates with my husband, read my book club book on a regular basis, clean my baseboards (does anyone actually do that?!) decorate my house for holidays, bathe my dog frequently, empty the dishwasher or fold laundry in a timely manner, etc. etc.
I'm not telling you these things to be hard on myself for not being able to do it all. I know that I am a productive person that gets a lot done at work and in my home life.
It all comes down to priorities.
At this point in my life, I don't prioritize most of the things in the list above. Yes, I would love to see my friends more and do spontaneous happy hours. And going on more date nights with my husband would be welcome. But, the rest? No, those are not priorities for me in this stage of life.
I could get up at 5:30 am to workout, or go to a 9:00 pm yoga class a few times a week, or even have my husband pick up the kids while I go to the gym after work. But 1. I want to sleep more than I want to workout, 2. I don't want to lose that time with my kids after work, and 3. well, I'm just kind of lazy right now. And as of today, I'm OK with this.
Clean counters, an empty sink and a constantly constantly empty dishwasher would be great, but I don't want to spend 20+ minutes every night after the kids are in bed to make that happen, so a quick 10 minute clean-up after dinner is good enough for me.
What I've learned about myself, especially since having kids, is that I won't be able to fit everything into my life right now. For a while, it was hard to give up my pre-kid life. I missed the spontaneous dinners out, the weekend getaways just because, or a day of solo shopping with nowhere else to be.
But I know all of these things will come back into my life someday, and when they do, that will mean my kids are older, and won't rely on me for everything they need to function on a daily basis. Thinking of that now is bittersweet, and makes me want to enjoy the moments I have with them now. They are only this little once, and I'd hate to regret anything about this short time of life.
While I don't do a lot of things, there are things that I do prioritize that make me happy right now: I meal plan, meal prep and make my family healthy, home cooked meals the majority of the time, I take days off of work to spend more time with my daughters, I work on growing this blog and do sewing projects in the evenings, I brew my own kombucha, and have a lot of interests that I pursue in the little chunks of time I carve out (while not getting enough sleep...). These are my priorities right now, with an emphasis on spending as much time with my girls as I can during these short high-need years.
So remember this the next time you're feeling bad about not doing x, y or z because you don't have the time, or are comparing yourself to someone else who is doing it: We all have the same number of hours in a day, but different priorities.
And if you desire to fit something into your life, but don't know how, look at what you are doing that isn't adding value or makes you annoyed or frustrated and get rid of it. Just because other people are doing it, doesn't mean you have to.
Cheers to doing what you love, ditching what you don't, and ignoring what everyone else is doing!
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